Truth Behind ?

I dont know why is this feeling not leaving me yet
I know it's not that hatred or whatsoever depressed feeelings which could make me an emotional person
It's that loving feeling that tells me that I cannot go with another person except you

Obsession ?
Craziness ?

I dont know but it isn't scary
It reminds me of the sweet stuffs we've experienced (at least i did)
the sweet fantasies which could hv turned out if we're to be together.

It's a rather beautiful feeling.
I can only hide it because I dont wanna scare you off.
I am alright. 

Maybe the person who is supposed to replace you and walk you outta my life hasnt appeared yet
I understand that we wont get things back to like how we used to.

I just want this feeling to last for a bit longer because I need a break for my heart . :)

I am missing you - peacefully .

소영

WHEW !

it has been a relieve recently :)
But today i miss him off a sudden, and it's like very much.
Luckily it lasts for only a few minutes?
or should I say that I just miss the moments we spent :)

It's okay.
Now I can be even more stressful because I know that he deserves someone better 
But I dunno
After that incident
I realized that things wont work the way I thought 
so just let it be
maybe he does deserve a better person or I might be the one who knows hah !

Gonna pick up the pace to study 
I dont wanna come back for supp paper LOL ! 

Time to face God 
I love you Heavenly Father

You have been the one by my side 
I know it

thanks !

소영

有时候..........

突然很想用中文打这一篇....
其实我是不是个傻瓜，
一直在等待大家都说"那不是"的那件事.....

是不是早在他告诉我的朋友说:没有.
那天开始,我就应该放手了呢?
就不用搞到自己现在每天都不开心....

或许我也是时候了...
将心门关上.....
感觉上像是很容易就被打开.....
可是应该一想起这件事, 就不会开了吧!

소영

Oh Noooooooooooooooooo

okay was told to give up give up and give up on BOTH !!!!!!!!!!!! okkkkkk

소영

TRUTH...

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE !!!!
OH it's so nice to be with my family and all to celebrate this festival :)

Everyone is having more or less the same activities throughout the CNY i guess :X

wish that everyone enjoy the moments !

hmm just now someone said : just because he doesnt like you thats why he nvr asks u out...

Owh... is it  .....

speechless for a sec and smth is cracking inside me o.o

it's gonna be really sad for these 2 years  i guess until the commitment comes to an end !

stay strong, i must !

소영

EMO SONG

AH, someone shared a vietnamese ballad song yesterday..
was okay when i listened for the first time but now being very emotional because of it....

im in a total mess now, trying to make myself better by talking to another person who is so close to u...
you wont know how much it hurts when you dont talk to me like how you used to...
at least let me know that you dont like me?
tell to anyone who can pass me this message if you dont wanna tell me on your own...

ignoring me isnt the right choice because i will go hurting the others......

How i wish that i can stroke your face when you are asleep telling you how much i want to be with you

Now my heart is tearing listening to that song

I know it makes me very sad but still i wanna listen to it
being rather insane now...

do you know that by seeing how often you sign into FB simply makese my day without you talking to me...
an exclaimation mark can even brighten up a dull day of mine....

i dont need you to push me to ur fren.
tell me to stay away from you thats all if you dont want me....

My heart aches a lot...
thats not what i want i know
but im doing it because i m losing you at the moment

i dont want to hurt ur fren 
i wish that he is treating me as a fren
nothing more than that

what can i do now?

stay away from you and watch you from far?

i really thought that u would like me

but it doesnt turn out this way

can i know what ur thinking?

i cannot hold this anymore .....

that song really depresses me....
blame myself for being stupid to listen and get addicted to it.....

소영

HELPLESS

supposed it's a wonderful night ytd...
but now im unsure
when things become so uncertain

do you really have that feelings for me 
or we're just soulmates

i m curious
but im afraid to get the negative answer from you

i just wanna
live a happy lifeeeeee

i dont wanna get affected becz of this agn

it sucks

sigh
help me

tell me
ur feelings

do u 
or 
do u not ? 
T_T

소영

SKIPS A BEAT !

OMG THATS HOW IT IS LIKE WHEN YOUR HEART SKIPS A BEAT!!!!

thank you so much sien ren , 
you are being a nice fren to actually 'stalk' my whole profile :) thanks a lot
you're the first one to remind me of my birthday , well cannot be compared to those who actually planned ahead for me for example my dear housemates and roommate :)

how good if baby ur the one who told me that ...
in fact
i scared you because of that status?
and u back off...
it's alright
time to let go......

gonna be sad but thats the only thing i can do 
life has to go on without you

heart is tearing (cries) and tearing (breaks) 

im so tired....

should hv slept earlier.....

God please lead me , i havent been to church for 3 weeks already zzz omg T_T

소영

UPSET

finally u opened ur mouth and ask for a date but wtf is that when im supposed to meet u because u want to introduce ur fren and u want to meet another person?

freaking sucks i would rather that you hv never tried to ask?

i heard a cracking sound from inside of me , baby i dont understand.

im confused

i dont know what to do

i cannot respond

just like how i did when i knew what u had told to my fren previously.......

this feeling sucks.

stop it

dont freaking fool me 

enough

stay away from me

if u dont give a damn about how i feel

T______T


needs someone by my side so badly now T_T 

hurts......

소영

Quote

A quote which suits you baby? :) and me ? 

"In life, you will have your heart broken more than once, go through painful experiences, have disappointing moments, face challenges, struggle to get through the day, over-think about certain things, have hardships and numerous dilemmas. It’s all part of life. Don’t forget that you’ll also have countless laughs, a beautiful smile to show the rest of the world, have something to look forward to, live for something, live by something, and remember that the bad times will not last long. I want to be by your side no matter what happens because that’s how much I love you. I want to be there when your tears fall, when you burst into laughter and hug you when you can’t sleep at night. I want to be that person who will help you get through life and spend everyday knowing that you’re mine…” - Quoted

소영

KLIA JOURNEY and HAPPY stuffs

WOOOOOWWWWWW
stayed overnight at KLIA to meet beloved KPOP artists

Seen BEAST SUJU B1A4 EXO CN BLUE FT ISLAND and YONGDAE + LCW 

OMG FAINTED

Spoken to yongdae about taking photo with him even though i got rejected 
Baro from B1A4 waved and smiled to ME !!! it's me because thrs only me and ONE FREN!!!!!!
we're not allowed to go near b1a4 but din know since we're done with our dinner that time.

HAPPY HAPPY 
but too bad din meet infinite and din get to see my KAI's face even it's from far

Baby. 
ur so sweet these days
i love you 
u nvr forget to nudge me each day ^.^
just cured my sickness 50% :)

i miss mom and dadddd a lot !!! gonnaaaaaaa study this page and get back to dear family of mine 

BUaiiii
used up a lot of energy to type this :(

소영

Awwww

Some friends are attending the 27th GDA thats gonna be held in Sepang circuit 
Envious 
But should be saving up for BAP and INFINITE :)

Had only 1 proper meal today...starved like crae jeeee LOL
had some biscuits which can never fulfill my lustttt !!

Baby had fun today :) 
I wish that I could give him the life that he is envious of 
good that he told me about that so I know what he wishes for

I wish to have that kind of life too in which I can do things that I have been passionate for 
Despite of having a hard time to deal with my work in the future ! 

All the best sweetheart
I love US :)

God Im sorrryyy omaigawd I only remembered this at last?????
I skipped sunday service today zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

><

소영

SIGH

It should be a happy day today !
Bought stuffs I like
just that i needa save up for concerts
-
-
-
-
-
-
until
-
-
-
-
-
you seemed to be annoyed when I asked you about that question T_T
I wish that I was the one who had been thinking too much
study is really the best way to forget about you
I thought i have already put down much
but
it hurts me when you replied that way
like seriously.....
baby please dont...
i dont know.....
how did i.....
so much....
i love you???

Im rather happy if ur fren thinks that way
but i know im selfish SUPER DUPER selfish to think that way
sigh
God please stop me T_T

소영

Been Through Ups and Downs

since the day i last posted here, I have been through a lot!

Test, conflicts and stuffs that i could barely remember now

Anyway, a better day always :) 

Thanks God for all

I am worried for my test but it has already passed so wishing the best to myself to at least pass it

Life is tough with this course LOL !

Baby I MISS YOU LOTS

Thats the reason I wanted to be here HEHEHE !!!

All the best on Sunday :) 

May my feeling for you lasts forever. 

소영

DRAMATIC

Oh for the past few days i was like a piece of dead meat knowing that
so called ' outcome '

Now i realized that it's good that we stay like this
I thank God for everything that you have done and given to me
Without You , i m far more worse than a  'NOTHING'

Baby, just want you to stay strong and firm all the time
I wish that u like me in return but i know it takes time
I wish that you're the right person

Hmm
hope to see you soon
I love you.

소영

Ballad Songs

Owhhh so when I start listening to the ballad songs, 
there goes my heart mind and soul
to a dead-state

Currently healing myself with Jay's 哪里都是你
It should be of hurting myself even more instead of healing 
zZz

I just cannot give up at this moment.

Thanks to your mate for sharing this song, 
otherwise might find it out late

Hmm I shouldnt be posting all the emo posts up here, 
so sorry thats currently how I feel,

Helpless not knowing whether I should give up or not
I said I can wait but im doing things that obviously showing my impatience 
So disappointed with myself
But will you please do something that can save me outta this? T_T 

You need the time i understand but guessing what you're thinking each time
is seriously exhausting
I get affected easily by you it's my problem
you have got nothing to do with it

Wishing that im gonna be better after expressing it here
I really dont wanna give up 
Because thats what we call love
at least 200 times more than a 'like' 
if people wont consider that as love yet...

소영

BACK

HAPPY 2013 EVERYONE !

Decided to blog again because of a personal reason ><
I cannot delete my old blog just because 
someone hacked into my hotmail account and 
changed all the setups causing the lost of password track and bla... :S
I will continue here though :)

I will neither log it nor tell to anyone about this blog yet.
I need a place to express myself !
In case anyone of you find out this is my blog, 
do leave a comment and notify me? :D
Guess that im gonna tell to some of my closest buddies :)

I should be feeling really depressed now but after the introduction, 
I do not feel like sharing anymore LOL :S probably later or next time .

~*^_^*~ - wonder if this is how my old signature looks like hehe !
소영 is gonna be the new signature
 since i do not look ^_^ for each and every post!